I, like so many others, become obsessed with my phone when this happens. Because HEAVEN AND THE GREEN POWER RANGER FORBID that a stranger will notice I'm there alone and think "wow I guess she has no friends or family or hobbies or interests or career plans." I have no idea why looking at our phones makes us feel like we're showing the world "LOOK I KNOW I'M HERE ALONE BUT I'M CLEARLY LOOKING AT SOMETHING REALLY IMPORTANT I'M BUSY VERY BUSY AND IMPORTANT AND MY APPS ARE PERFECTLY ORGANIZED."
(Side-note: Be very suspicious of people who have perfectly organized apps)
(Other side-note: Is this how you do side-notes?)
So I'm making a list of things we should do that isn't looking at our phone when we're waiting outside of Chili's.
- Pick a person near you and try to guess their biggest fear based off their shoes.
- Spin in circles until you get dizzy then stop and stare at someone and verbally blame them for you feeling dizzy.
- Come up with 10 reasons why John Mayer can't stay in a committed relationship.
- Come up with 9 reasons why every one of your 10 reasons makes sense.
- Try to do a handstand. Keep trying. Keep trying. No, that one didn't count.
- Find a cup and try to do the Cups song and then make up your own lyrics that have to do with how oranges are hard to peel sometimes.
- Count all of your fingers and toes, then miscount them and freak out.
- Figure out a way to give the person nearest to you a vibe that says you think you're superior. Nonverbally.
- Get angry about the patriarchy.
- Look up and panically yell "THE SKY IS PERFECTLY INTACT." Then continue to stare to make sure it's still intact.
Or bring a book.
And THROW it at people.